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Sunday, 03 February 2008

I'm bringing

Sunday, 30 October 2005

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Vaguely Obscene Nun Jokes

What is black and white and green and black and white?
Two nuns fighting over a sweaty pickle.

What is black and white and grinds up and down, up and down?
A nun churning butter.

What is black and white and screams "YES! YES! YES!"
A nun winning at BINGO.

What is black and white and pink and hard?
A nun stopping, lifting her habit up to her shins, and sratching her ankle bone.

What is black and white and gooey and creamy?
A nun eating a bowl of Tapioca pudding.

What is black and white and makes a wet, sucking sound?
A toothless, elderly nun eating a Communion wafer

Rejected US Army Slogans

"Kill All That You Can Kill"

"Shower With Men"

"Knock Up Foreign Broads"

"All The Grits You Can Eat"

"Be A Flame Thrower, Not A Flame Broiler"

"Purple Hearts = Free Beers At Hooters"

"Whimsical And Human, Just Like M*A*S*H"

"Cubicles Are For Wusses"

"Napalm Means Serious BBQ"

"Over 1,000,000 Sheared, Beaten, And Worked Into A Sub-Human Fury!"

"Totally Beefcake and Proud of It"

"Beat Up Sailors"

"We Won''''''''t Screw Your Mind Up As Bad As The Marines Will"

"Kicking Nazi Tail Since 1942"

"Don''''t Ask, Don''''t Tell, Don''''t Accessorize"

“Risk Your Life for Freedoms No One Appreciates!"

"Play Doom… For Real!"

"Sure Beats Lurnin''''''''!"

"Because Terminators Are Real"

More Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!

	Knock, Knock Who’s there? I know it's you. Crap. Knock, knock Who’s there? A talking pig. Pigs can’t talk. Neither can penguins, but I can’t shut him up! Wait till you get a load of the dancing candelabra… Knock, knock Who’s there? You want to buy a kitten? You want to buy a kitten who? Make pretty pet. I’m allergic to cats. Taste good, too? Knock, knock Who’s there? You sure you don’t want buy a little kitten? Yes, I’m sure. Could make one cute fuzzy glove? Knock, knock Who’s there? Ted Bundy Ted Bundy who? Let me in, meat! No! I mean… Hello I am Santa Claus. Yay! Santa! Knock, knock Who’s there? A Predator drone-launched Hellfire missile. Saddam, I think it’s for you! Knock, knock Who’s there? Gandalf the Gray Wizard, friend to hobbits and elves! Dork-ass loser. Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me! Knock, knock Who’s there? My mouth is full of spiders. My mouth is full of spiders who? I didn’t kill the baby. It was made out of popcorn. Popcorn baby! I need a bucket - my knuckles are melting… Man, you have got to lay off the cough syrup. Knock, knock Who’s there? Hitler Hitler who? Hitler: German, dictator, mass murderer. Little mustache? One testicle? “HEIL ME!” Ring a bell? I thought you were someone else. How is that possible? There is only ONE HITLER! Nope. Went to school with a Nelson Hitler. You’re just trying to annoy me now. Do you really have just one testicle? You’d think I miss it, but I don’t Knock, knock Who’s there? Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. What, and that makes you special? Knock, knock Who’s there? Some. Some who? Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .

Massively Kewl Knock Knock Jokes!!!

	Knock, knock Who’s there? Sorry, wrong door. Okay. Knock, knock Who’s there? Federal Express Federal Express who? I don’t know. I just deliver packages. Knock, knock Who’s there? Tom. Tom who? Tom Buchanan. Hi Tom. Knock knock Who’s there? Pizza delivery guy. Pizza delivery guy who? You ordered a pizza? Yes. I’m the guy delivering it. Great. Knock knock Who’s there? Susan. Susan who? Susan Caldwell. I’ll be right out, Susan. Knock, knock Who’s there. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable. You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who? I thought this was a redneck joke. Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke. Oops. Knock, knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who Don’t get so upset, crybaby! What? Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo” You’re a real idiot. That wasn’t necessary. Knock knock Who’s there? Creeping penis. Creeping penis who? I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last! Knock, knock Yo mama Yo mama who? Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago. I bet you’re fat, huh? I’m… You are, aren’t you? Fat! I’m plumpish. Knock, knock Who’s there? FBI! … … Hello? FBI! Let us in! … …nobody here… Oh. Let’s go boys! (Phew!) Knock, knock Who’s there? There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who? No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway. Actually, that’s just my piss-drunk bar slut of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for “mind eraser” shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s. Let the whore sleep it off. Knock, knock Who’s there? Henry. Henry who? Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac? I’m not opening the door Henry. Damn. Knock, knock Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH! Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who? Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster crap and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So… You want to use my toilet? Yeah? Go right ahead. Got anything to read? Just the crossword. You finished it. Sorry? Hold my scythe. Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.

Sunday, 16 October 2005

A really good friend sent this to me and it is soooo true. you should reead it and tell me how you feel.

PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE POST. IT'S SO DANG TRUE*

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on

the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. Add this as a comment to ten of your friends tonight and at midnight your true love will find you. Something good will happen to you at 2:25 tomorrow. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life. Whoever breaks this chain letter will be cursed with 10 relationship problems for the next ten years tag ur it!! this is so scary!!! send this to 15 ppl in the next 143 min. and then press F6 and your crushes name will appear in big letters!! it is so scary because it works.... but if you break the chain.. you will be cursed w/ relationship problems

It came true for me how about you??????????

Sunday, 28 August 2005

Today this is how i feel

The Panic Button

Hope you have a great day. WFT?!?!?!?

Sunday, 21 August 2005

Today this is how i feel

Cuz it is sunday and on monday football starts. I will say it one more time i can ONLY UPDATE!! On SUNDAY kokokokokok.

well g2g